The Attic Of Dee

For ten years, I haven’t seen a single trick or treater. They never wanted to venture into my yard. No matter if I decorated or not. I would prop my gates open and wait. Not a soul would ring the bell or knock on the door. Now that I have moved, I am starting to wonder if I need to buy candy. I haven’t put out a single decoration. Is trick or treating a dead art? Have sick people ruined the fun sport of trick or treating? Heck there has to be hungry college students out there! Do children now trick or treat at the mall, standing in line, to get a goodie, or walking around the plaza to the storefronts and standing in line.

When I was a kid we went till we dropped. When I got older, I moved from the plastic pumpkin to the pillowcase for my collecting tool. The last year I trick or treated I was 14 and I can’t even remember what I was. I think I was a mime. We trick or treated really fast. I had a shit load of candy. We shaving creamed peoples garage doors. The later that night we hung out in the drainage ditch. What happens in the drainage ditch stays in the drainage ditch.

When I was 15, I went to the youth center’s skate night for Halloween and I wore nothing but a black Glad trash bag. I also sprayed my hair funky colors and a can went a little crazy in the bathroom and painted the walls a hot pink that my dad could not get paint to color up. Primer dad, primer! I lead my friends to believe the trash bag was a great costume. Well it worked for me. Nita on the other hand needed duct tape at some point during the evening. She was a little too tall for the trash bag.

When I was 16, I went to school as a pregnant teenager. I wore a maternity shirt that said “organically grown”. I was just hoping this costume would get me sent home. It didn’t, I think I might of blended in too well.

This year hopefully, I will hear the chime of the door bell. I am going to have to start asking the neighbors if we get those rare things called trick or treaters.