The Attic Of Dee

When my sister Pam and I were little my mom used God to get us to behave. It was like she and God were a secret team. Secret tag team or something. She used the rearview mirror to keep tabs on us. There was no riding shotgun in my mom’s world if we both were in the car. She had to be fair, and make us both ride in the back. Later I will explain how this fairness screwed me up in life.

Oh no let’s get into it now. My mom wanted so badly to have a sibling but she didn’t get one. She also didn’t have any guidance on how to raise two lovely little girls, or one, me, lets not count my sister. Okay, only if we have too. I guess we have to count little Miss evil.

My mom wanted us to both get along so much. She must have some fairy tale idea of what it is like to have a sibling. Well there is always good and evil in fairy tales. (clears throat). Okay she wanted us to love each other so much that she figured out the only way to get this point across was to treat us as equals so there would be no sibling wars. (Only when she was at work, war was on!) My mom, measured out all our favorite foods and our least favorite. She had it down to a science. If I got a shirt, my sister would just get the same shirt in a different color. Don’t push it people, I have pictures! Well I grew up thinking the world was fair. Only because for the most part, in my house it was. My mom ruled over the court and fairness was the game.

Oh sure my mom would say…”Life is not fair”…yeah prove it!

Picture my sister and I sitting in the back seat… a fight begins, my mom uses the eyes in the back of her head aka the rear view mirror. She gives one warning and one warning only… “Don’t make me pull this car over and whip you in front of God and everyone”. (silence). Nothing scared us more than God and everyone.

I did not want God and everyone to see us get a whipping. I guess little Miss evil didn’t either because as soon as my mom gave the first warning, we didn’t push it. God and everyone was not getting to see an ass whipping on the side of the road in our family.